What's In A Name?

I have been pondering this blog entry in my mind since the day I was admitted to the hospital with high blood pressure. I imagined that had I had another preemie, especially such an early one, that a blog would be most fitting to keep everyone informed. I could see myself being inundated with calls and texts asking about the baby, and I could already see that there would be days that I just wouldn't want to talk. So as I laid in the hospital, I thought long and hard about what I would name my blog. I wanted something that would not only recognize Vanessa, but also Travis, because I envisioned that eventually this blog would not be about the hospital and ventilators and blood transfusions, but about our journey.

I couldn't get the image of a Hero out of my mind. I guess you could partially blame this on having a 5 year old boy obsessed with Spiderman, Batman and Superman. All of which are considered Heroes, but when I really thought long and hard about what a Hero was to me, it wasn't the obvious. I scoured the internet looking for something that would explain my feelings of what a Hero was. This is what I found:

A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. -Christopher Reeve

Now you may think I'm arrogant enough to think that this word is to reflect Henry and I through this journey, but that is not the case. My kids are my Heroes. For some reason, they chose to fight and be here with us. They are ordinary kids faced with extraordinary challenges, and many years from now when they graduate college, get married and have their own kids, it won't matter that they came into the world on such a rough road. But for me, I will always remember where they started and how far they have come.

I want you to join me in being a Hero. As many of you know, for the past few years, Henry and I have had a family team for the March for Babies named Team Travis. This year, we will be the Hernandez Heroes. We would like your support! Travis and Vanessa are here today not only because they are fighters, but because of the research that the March of Dimes has supported to help premature babies. Be a Hero for babies!

April 14, 2012
Metro Phoenix
Wesley Bolin Plaza

1700 W. Washington St.

Phoenix, AZ  85007

Please visit our Team Website:  http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1800714

This is how what I've come up with for the team shirts so far.

♥ Cassea

HOME!

I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post, but the last few weeks have been a whirlwind. It started out around the 7th of February. By then, it seemed that Vanessa was going to be strong enough to go home. By then, it had been over a week since she had the feeding tube in, and we had trialed her off oxygen and she was doing ok. The plan was that she would come home on Friday, February 10th as long as she was able to continue eating and gaining weight. As luck would have it, on Wednesday night, Vanessa had a miserable night. She was extremely fussy and had a nurse that hadn't had her since days back on the oscilattor. So on Thursday, after a night of crying, she was understandably exhausted. But because of that, she wasn't very interested in eating, so the doctors didn't feel comfortable sending her home. So we waited, again, to give her the opportunity to show us what she's made of. And she did! She had a fantastic weekend, so on Sunday we (me and the nurses) pushed for Vanessa's discharge. The doctor that saw her on Sunday had only seen Vanessa a few times in her life, but after assessing her and speaking with the nurses, he felt comfortable discharging her.

Lisa, our primary nurse who has been with us for the long haul texted me that she was coming home. I was excited, yet reserved. Not only was I concerned about bringing a micro-preemie home, but I really didn't believe it was happening. I've tried to not get excited at the prospect of Vanessa coming home, because honestly, I've been told since the beginning of January "Probably just another week" almost every week until she came home. I learned to contain myself and not tell everyone, because I really didn't want to tell someone for the 10th time that it didn't happen.

But on February 12th, on our 1 year wedding, and almost at the exact time that Henry and I were saying "I do", Vanessa came home. It was the most precious and meaningful gift I could have asked for. With Friday having been delayed, we had a feeling that Sunday would be the day, so to celebrate I made Wedding Day Quiche for Henry and I and brought in some for the nurses, nurse practitioners and doctors.

It was the most surreal moment. I had hoped and dreamed and prayed for it, but I couldn't ever picture it happening. I was able to picture her at home and going on trips as a family, but I couldn't see the day that she would come home. It's interesting too, because with Travis, Henry and I felt like we were stealing Travis when we left; like we had broke him out. It didn't feel like that with Vanessa. It felt like a graduation, a promotion from one step to the next, and most importantly, it felt right.

Vanessa in her "Coming Home" outfit that her Daddy got for her. Everything right now is spring, so we had to put a long sleeve shirt on underneath for warmth. She had to wear her hospital band until she left the hospital.

Vanessa and Travis with Lisa (our angel on the left) and Karen (who took great care of Vanessa in the beginning when she was very critical). I explained to Lisa that the blanket that Vanessa had on her was made by my Great Grandma when Travis was born, and that she had since passed away. Lisa responded something along the lines of "well it's clear that someone had been looking out for her." I immediately teared up, because I know that Vanessa had an army of Angels guarding her, and I believe that Grandma T was leading the pack.

Travis snuggling with Vanessa on our drive home! He is clearly in heaven!

I was worried about how she would be, considering that she had never even been outside, I just didn't know how she would react to the carseat and drive home. She did just fine!

Vanessa's first bath at home!

Vanessa's first night home!

 Thank you to everyone that has been so loving, supportive and understanding. Henry, Travis, Vanessa and I appreciate your prayers, warm thoughts and good vibes.

♥ Cassea