Rollercoaster? Try Richter Scale!

I've been thinking a lot lately about this analogy that time spent in the NICU is like a rollercoaster and while I understand where it makes some sense, I really don't think it's the best way to describe it. To me, a rollercoaster is fast, and the moments of terror are quickly overcome by moments of excitement. On a rollercoaster, the scary parts are over quickly and you always know that the ride will only last so long. This is not the case in the NICU. While I'm sure I will reflect back on this time years from now, and think that it went by quickly; right now, being stuck in the middle, I can't help but feel that this will never end.

So, I've decided that there is a much better analogy that for me seems to make a little more sense. I think having a micro preemie is like living in Southern California on the San Andres fault line. Vanessa being born early would be our magnitude 6.0. It's scary, traumatic and takes a lot of rebuilding to recover, but all along you know that you are at risk for an aftershock, or even worse that the first quake was a before shock and you've got a worse one coming. So, you sleep with one eye open, and you never really settle just waiting for the next strike. And sure enough, you get it. Aftershocks.... Constant aftershocks, some worse than others, but never letting up enough for you to feel safe because you know that at any moment your world can be shook up. So you try to rebuild, but then you are broken back down.

Right now, all I'm trying to do is survive from one earthquake to the next. Is it easy? Absolutely not. But I'm trying to cherish the good days and make it through the bad ones, and remain strong for my family.

On the bright side, Vanessa is now 3 pounds 3 ounces, which is bigger than Travis was at birth. I don't know why it seems like such a big deal, but to me, from here it doesn't seem as scary. Even though Vanessa is still not breathing on her own, her size is becoming a source of comfort.

My Girl

Sweet Little Toes

Nice and Cozy!

♥ Cassea