Last Halloween

I don't believe I posted anything last year for halloween, because to be quite honest, I didn't feel like I had much that I wanted to share. I feel like halloween was probably the hardest holiday out of all the holidays Vanessa spent in the hospital. Maybe because it was the first, or maybe because she had just been put back on the oscillator (high frequency ventilator) which meant I couldn't hold her, or maybe it was because I felt so broken and the world just kept spinning anyways. We'll just say all of the above.

Here are some never before seen photos of Vanessa last halloween. I knew that we wouldn't be able to dress her up, so I bought some butterfly wings for her that are actually a wall decoration, but they worked because they were small enough to get into her isolette. I never saw them on her, because when I went to see her in the afternoon she was lying on her back. But the night nurses set it up and took these pictures for me. The nurse told me that it was the sweetest thing because the wings were fluttering from the high frequency ventilator. I wish I could have seen that...

And of course we can't leave out my handsome Travis! He was so excited to be a character from Star Wars. He looked like such a cute little Jedi, except when he had the mask on. That mask was creepy.

 

 

I'll get some pictures up of the kids from today in another post. I just really wanted to share how far we've come. Last year, I couldn't even think about another Halloween for Vanessa because I didn't know if it would ever happen. This time last year she was just getting worse and worse each day, and the only thing working in her favor was that she was able to continue to get her nutrition from milk and not IV's. My heart is so full today to be able to spend it at home with my wonderful husband and my two amazing kids.

 

♥ Cassea

aka Grateful Mama