Spending everyday in the NICU can be so draining. Although we feel very blessed and happy with the progress Vanessa is making, fear is always looming that something may go wrong. On Sunday, a baby in the unit passed away. They call it a code white so that the staff knows what is going on and will act appropriately. I can't help but feel awful for that family. Why? I don't understand how it's fair, because I know it is not. I looked at the spot where the baby once was, photos posted all around and an oscilattor sitting their turned off. It was a hard emotion to face, because all my feelings toward that machine have bee negative. I would stare at it every day for 21 days knowing that it was preventing me from snuggling with Vanessa, but when I looked at it on Sunday it looked sad and disappointed. It looked like it wanted to say "I tried, but I just couldn't do enough". I don't know the details around this baby passing away, but I do know that the family must be struggling. So what I ask is that when you say a prayer for Vanessa, say a prayer for all the babies that are born too soon or have to be in the NICU for whatever reason. I feel so lucky tohave gotten this far, but we still have a long road ahead. Vanessa still needs to learn to eat, which can be very challenging for preemies.
♥ Cassea
Henry convinced me to get out of town for a night, and I'm really glad I listened.
We went to Sedona and just enjoyed the beautiful scenery. The nurses and doctors all supported/encouraged this mini vacay and said that Vanessa would be fine, which of course she was!
My son has become quite the photographer, and that is what our trip consisted of, Travis taking pictures!
Vanessa on CPAP. She is finally starting to get used to the mask, which is good!
She is getting to be quite the little porker (which I think everyone thinks I'm crazy when I say that, but she has quadrupled in size!) She is now 4lbs 12 oz and growing so fast that she may not have a chance to wear all her preemie clothes!
Vanessa's set up. Big Bed for Big Girl!
I will say a prayer for al of them, especially Vanessa and the baby who has returned to his/her creator!!!! I am glad you all went on a mini vacay!!! Travis is not bad at taking pictures!!!! :) Vanessa is so adorable!!! Love you all and send all of my love/prayers to each of you!!!
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